Nov 12, 2021
Ask The Trope Fairy: Traumatizing Treatment and Traumatizing Truths
Ask the Trope Fairy is an advice column for characters navigating science fiction and fantasy realms. In this dimension, advice is published on alternate Fridays.
Dear Trope Fairy,
Conditional on you being real, I would appreciate some advice on helping my sweet angels process some holiday-related trauma. What happened this summer at what I had thought was a safe place, after hours of researching Camp Chippewa’s reputation, recommended by good families and mothers I trust, my precious, innocent darlings were subjected to some truly unsavory characters. There should be screening in camp admissions, I said it! Not for the normal “unattractive” qualities and this is not about race because these students were white (Jewish and some heathen religion but still white).
They completely destroyed the Thanksgiving pageant, toward which my precious daughter had worked for weeks and weeks, and which was meant to teach the history of our brave Pilgrims. I understand not all elements of the story are equally happy in the epilogue of the First Thanksgiving, but is that truly appropriate for our children? The camp directors insist that they understood that and the aforementioned children I mentioned went rogue but I do suspect an anti-American bias.
Claiming to be the possessed spirit of the Native Americans, come back in time to warn their ancestors of the “evil” white settlers intentions, this girl made an unnecessarily graphic and impolite speech about genocide then incited a riot! There was fire! With children tied to the stake!
Luckily my precious innocent darlings are home, and I was beginning to think we were past this vulgar and unnecessary display. They agreed to pledge to the flag in class again just last week! But now, with the holiday approaching, I’ve seen a huge backslide. My son is muttering, “happy happy Turkey day” from one of the few numbers that went to plan before the massacre and my daughter is shrieking at pumpkins, turkeys, and pilgrim hats.
I understand that the damage of these horrible children has been done, but what can I do to help my babies through this time?
As it happens, I know the children you are speaking of, so I am either the worst or the best person to address this issue with you. I get so few letters from your dimension, since the pockets of magic that have survived largely cluster around strong, supportive family units that solve their own problems (not always to their neighbor’s satisfaction).
As such, I have some inside knowledge on that camp that might offer an alternative explanation for your son’s muttering of “Happy happy Turkey Day.” Would you feel differently, would you offer your son better opportunities to heal, if the reason he is muttering is not because of a charismatic child taking over the play but because the adult male camp director repeatedly hit the campers for getting their dance moves wrong? Because there have been many reports of that, and I believe it is important that you talk to your son about whether an adult that he trusted beat him and what you will do to never put him in that position again. And perhaps to think about why he did not come to you with that truth on his own and do some deep introspection into why.
That will not be a pleasant time. But it is an important one. Do not turn away from it because it makes you uncomfortable. It is too important for your son.
The good news, is that that difficult processing might make it seem comparatively easier to do the other necessary introspection with your children about Thanksgiving and the message of both the original and the play as performed.
It is not pleasant to gaze back at your America’s racial past. But the days of neither you nor your child noticing that your camp is named for a Native American tribe that has no association with the camp, as if that culture is a costume and a gimmick for non-Native children, are over.
The slaughter of indigenous people is a true part of the First Thanksgiving’s history, and if their descendants had the power to go back in time to warn those tribes that helped the early European settlers, I suspect they would. But a telling part left out of your letter is that the new message was very much focused on where Indigenous people are now. It was not a historical tragedy that your family faced on that day. It was a modern one. An ongoing one.
You must untangle which “horrors” you want your children to forget because they are traumatizing (being tied up while surrounded by fire is terrifying) and what you want your children to forget because it’s true.
Not because you necessarily need to be galvanized to become an activist for indigenous rights (though if your son or daughter are so inspired, I encourage you to embrace it), but because you will do a better job of helping your children unpack their trauma if your bar for success isn’t a return to full-blown patriotism that pretends the European settlers never committed atrocities.
Help them with their fear of being beaten for a petty man’s artistic vision, help them understand that they are safe now and are spectacularly unlikely to be attacked by a powerful young child again. But don’t use “go back to pretending history didn’t happen” as your standard for “normal.”
Your children had a transformative experience. The past months have proven that it will not simply be erased from their minds and hearts with time. Let it transform them into more informed, compassionate people who are willing to stand up for themselves when they see injustice and abuse — against themselves and others — in less dramatic and violent ways than the pageant they witnessed. You have enough passion to be a fierce advocate teaching them those skills.
But only if you stop channeling your energy against a young child who made you uncomfortable by telling the truth about the First Thanksgiving.
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Transcribed and annotated by Katy Mulvaney with permission from the League of Fairy Surrogates and the Interdimensional Meta — Fantasy Council. The Trope Fairy can be reached even in low-magic dimensions by addressing your letter to the North Pole attention MRS. Claus. Letters address to St. Nick with a request to pass along to the Trope Fairy will eventually be forwarded as well, but he gets much more mail, and she is a good friend who sometimes responds herself to help with turnaround time.
